60…SIXTY…so Much to Cheer…

Today is October 1. Today is Nigeria’s 60th Birthday. And there’s so much to cheer. Despite All manners of prediction. Sixty years is a dot in the history of any nation – when the USA was 60 years it was a desert and jungle, of criminals and lawlessness.

So. Sixty years on, let’s count our blessings And cut our losses:

1960. Nigeria got her Independence from Britain, without much of a fight. We didn’t do the Mau Mau. We didn’t “fight a pitched War of Independence”. We stared the British down. They conceded.

1966. A single patriot. A single soldieraa 1¹1in a moment of undiluted patriotism stood before armed soldiers and led them to stage the first of several coup d’etat. He came to “.purge the 5 percenters”. Such naivety. Like an American. Major Chukwuma Kaduna Nzeogwu was a dreamer. He did NOT realise that his fellow coupists did not share his dream of a Nigeria For All! Such naivety. The stuff Indian film heroes are made of – a wand.

That coup at dawn of 15 January,1966, still reverberates: So, when the President, Muhammadu Buhari, called on Nigerians, to think unity. I asked myself, if this was another dreamer? Ah! Yes! He is! Wasn’t he the young Major General that a group of misogynists, disrupters and those who really killed the Nigerian Army, recruit to be Head of State, in December of 1983, after overthrowing the weak, corrupt, inefficient But, democratically elected Government of Alhaji Shehu Shagari? He came striding into State House, Marina Lagos, with a halo over his head and eyes burning with dreams. Aghast,the coup masterminds saw their dreams of unbridled wealth and power… Unlimited licentiousness, being smashed to pieces. This was not acceptable. They ” tolerated” him for a year..and in 1985, they found that steeped in his dreams of a new Nigeria, he had left all his flanks open and undefended. His Chief of Staff, Brigadier General Tunde Idiagbon, a devout Moslem had gone for the Hajj. They overthrew him. But, he left a Legacy – one which placed him eternally as one of THREE Nigerians to qualify as Father of the Nation – he introduced the War Against Indiscipline ( WAI) which gave birth to the Queue Culture. For the first time, Nigerians were forced to be disciplined.

Sixty years…60. Dreamers and romanticists call it Diamond. Well, we’ve taken Nigeria from huts, to quote the sick Donald Trump, to a Great Country. We’ve built skyscrapers. We have over 100 universities and other tertiary institutions,but, I ask, with the words of the American Country musician, Randy Travis, ” are we still living in the caves?

The protégés of those 5 percenters and those who got it good are still around but, now they are better prepared. More sophisticated and with wealth, more daring. They crushed Magu. They laid Mrs Waziri bare. And they have been sniping at Justice Ayo Salami’s heels. Oh! They will bring him down.

Seems to me, if I may advise President Buhari, that the War Against Corruption, is losing grounds, on all fronts. It’s like the French Revolution,1789. The Leaders were consumed. The country was left in tatters. And a little known but romantic Captain, Napoleon Bonaparte, seized the moment. Now, I ask, how can we win, when every finger is in the Pie? Damn difficult, to say the least.

Magana Jari Ce

Heard the Chief of the Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadeeq Abubakar, got married to the Hon Minister for Humanitarian Affairs, Sadiya Umar Farouq. Congratulations to Nigeria. Why? Hmm. At least, she will learn how to achieve. On a good day, she goes around, distributing cash, to the poorest of the poor, generated from her Social Register. Madam, for the umpteenth time, the Conditional Cash Transfer ( CCT) and the Home Grown School Feeding Programme (HGSFP) are poorly thought out and even so badly implemented that, I fear, your reputation will for ever be in tatters! And then add to that the good intentioned, but, disastrous and badly executed N-Power Programme. Like Festus Keyamo’s 774,l000 jobs for “unskilled itinerant workers”. Somebody must be sitting in one dingy corner in the Federal Secretariat and bringing out these ideas. Keyamo will weep unending when he sees what is happening in most States. Wow!

Gidan Kashe Ahu

The tragicomedy on the “irreversible” fuel price increase and the electricity tariff hike. continues. The new development is even more uproarious: Organized Labour has suspended the nationwide strike for two weeks. How? To give itself and the Federal Government time to look at the “palliatives”. You won’t kill me o! this Wabba man!

And as I’m rolling all over the place, the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) almost gave me a heart attack. Those darling morons put out a paid Press Release, with all the trimmings, announcing ” suspension” of the hiked tariff, for 14 days, wef 30 September, 2020 – 14 October,2020. They forgot the time – O0hrs to 00hrs. Now crack up: The NERC forgot that electricity bills are issued on monthly basis. Oh ! Darling Morons !

Happy Birthday, Nigery!

Thanks for reading.

If I made your weekend ,good. If you got indigestion, good.